40: Attach To The Transformation Not The Trophy

Welcome back guys!  I had a thought today that I really felt the need to put out there for you all to consider. Not everyone wins a show but no one should feel like a loser. Tune in to hear my thoughts on this and come join the conversation in my Podcast Facebook group!

The group is called “The ‘Everything Else’ in Bodybuilding Podcast Insiders!” to discuss episodes and follow the podcast tour as we travel the USA promoting the show.

Additional Resources:
-Want to feel fully prepared on stage at your competition? Jump on my weekly posing practice classes at http://www.weeklyposing.com
-NEW weekly posing class called “Posing Mechanics for all men and women divisions” now available on Sundays! http://www.weeklyposing.com
-FREE posing tutorials for Figure, Bikini, Wellness, and Men's Physique competitors at www.learntopose.com
-FREE ebook “5 Things Every Bodybuilding and Fitness Competitor Needs To Know Before Preparing For A Show” at www.eeinbb.com
-Grab your “My Own Motivation” tank top at shop.killitwithdrive.com 
-Want to WIN your next competition? I can help! Learn more at: www.posingwinsshows.com

Key Takeaways:
*Why are you doing a show (2:47)
*Our existence is 100% in our head (3:52)
*There can only be 1 winner (5:50)
*There is more to celebrate than a trophy (7:15)
*Examples of attaching to the transformation not the trophy (10:46)
*My weekly virtual posing practice classes (13:15)

—Transcript—

Welcome back! It feels really great to be here. Its been a minute, huh? Well there is so much to still talk about so plan for more episodes coming. I’m also going to start bringing my husband on here for the male perspective of things which I think is going to add a really great layer to the show. Let me start this episode by saying..

Bodybuilders are really hard on themselves. I talk about this to my posing students all the time how there is a switch that happens at about the 4 week mark from show. You all get freaking crazy. You start mentally stacking all kinds of nonsense. “I’m not lean enough.” “I don’t think I’ll be ready.” “I’m not this, I’m not that.”  This kind of self sabotage happens all the time. It’s very common in new people to bodybuilding because you don’t know what to expect from competing and you are putting yourself out there in public in a way that you likely have never done before.

The truth is you are never going to feel like you are ready if you hyper focus on being ready.

Let’s talk about why you are doing this show in the first place? Maybe you had a really awesome body composition change and decided to make a bodybuilding show your next goal.

Maybe you have been thinking about doing a show for 20 years and finally got the courage to go for it. I’m meeting a lot of people who are coming to me for posing assistance in their late 50s which is really awesome.

Maybe you were an athlete and you want a new goal to keep you motivated in the gym. Or maybe you were encouraged by the people at your gym to try a show and you figure what the heck you’ll try it out.

Regardless of why you decided in the first place to do a show, at some point you will realize you are about to be on stage in your underwear wearing orange paint and posing in front of a live audience for a group of 5-7 people to then analyze your appearance. As you get closer to the show day, the anticipation becomes greater and greater. It’s almost as if the long process to the stage is a slow peel of a bandaid. Like if you were physically ready the minute you decided to do a show you might run out on stage and be much more confident than you do when you have months of time to obsessively think about the show day and sink further and further into your head.

Do you realize that this existence is something you have created in your head?  That you are stressing your own freaking self out?  I’ve had people reach out to me and say that they are thinking about a show but their cortisol levels are high. First off what does that even mean. What barometer was used to measure your cortisol levels. Although there are people with medical issues, sure, but most of you are responsible for your own stress and it’s because of the things you choose to focus on.

Our existence is 100% in our head. It’s a perception. Everything that has happened to you in the past is stored away in your head. Everything that will happen in the future is also in your head because it is all just a visualization and a possibility. No matter how bonkers it is, it is ALL possible. Your current state, the NOW, is your reality. How do you want to spend this reality?

Do you want to spend it obsessing about the zero.185 pounds you gained that you can’t snap your fingers and change in this moment. Obsessing about these magical body fat numbers that really mean nothing in a bodybuilding contest that is based on an aesthetic not a number. The constant comparison of yourself to others you see on social media who have completely different bodies, are in different stages of life, and are possibly even enhanced in a way from PED use which means you won’t likely look like them unless you are enhanced too. 

Is this how you want your existence to be?

Would you want to hang out with you?

Steve Reeves was a professional bodybuilder in the 1950s who was considered to have one of the most perfectly proportioned physiques. If you know his history you might also know he went on to be a Hollywood super star and played iconic roles like Hercules. Steve is a legend. So is Arnold for his one of a kind physique. Bodybuilding was all about rewarding incredible physiques. These people became legends because they were far above average and had a uniqueness that was untouchable in their time.

Their physiques were really special and iconic. Arnold and Steve weren’t without competition though. There were many people that wanted to be considered legendary too and gave them a run for their money, but in the end, there can only be one winner. One legend. One icon. 

There can be only 1 winner in each category at a bodybuilding show. If you don’t win, does that mean you suck? No, it just means someone was better that day and it’s an opportunity for you to evaluate your strengths and weaknesses and continue working on improvement. You were the best version of you that day. Next time you can be even better. If you have nothing to work towards you have no goal. Having no goal is boring.

I am a part of some fitness groups on social media that have a lot of new people to bodybuilding. I see a lot of posts about their contest prep and some even post show. This one post the other day was from a girl who was obsessing about her placement. She placed 4th and after obsessing about the 3rd place person’s physique and overly analyzing this other person, she concluded that she should have beat her, and because she didn’t, she felt insecure and upset about it.

OMG you guys there is a reason there are 5-7 judges on a panel. The goal of the judges is to find a consensus however, judges most of the time don’t vote unanimously. Because of the differences between the judges scores you can place a spot up or down just by how the numbers fell. This is a subjective sport.

Which leads me to the point of this podcast episode. I realize it’s been a minute since my last episode and I promise I will be coming back more regularly. But this thought I had today was one I really felt the need to put out there.

I wanted to say it loudly that there has to be more to celebrate when competing in a bodybuilding show than just a 1st place trophy.  Only 1 person is going to win that day and if it’s not you, you can’t let it lead to your demise. The 5 people judging a show should not have that much control over your inner joy and value. Step on another stage or compete in another federation and the scoring will likely be different. One group of people is not the end all be all.

Many of you are putting yourselves out there in public in a way you have never done before. That is incredibly courageous. Many of you have never been on stage except maybe that moment you walked across a stage to receive your high school diploma in front of a large audience. 

Many of you have spent years taking care of everyone else and finally decided to do something awesome for yourself that can also be incredibly fun.

Many of you who are former athletes have a platform where you can continue being an athlete for the rest of your life if you approach things in a mindful way.

And most of you are about to discover that with your hard work and perseverance you can mold your body into a shape and appearance that you never thought was possible.  You did that. Why not let yourself live in this space. Let yourself have it!

If you watch Arnold’s documentary on netflix you will see that Arnold didn’t just build an incredible physique, he built a mental toughness and a confidence that helped him achieve things far beyond just his Mr Universe and Mr Olympia titles. When you start to train, I mean really train, not just go through the motions at the gym and rush through the reps to get the workout done, when you really start to train, you start to build a new conversation with yourself. When you start to see the physique changes and know you did that, you start to believe that you can do more things. When you get closer to your contest and you experience the challenges in getting your body stage ready, you realize you have a higher will power and inner strength that will change your perceptions forever. When you push your strength training, mindfully of course, and push through the pain, you learn your pain tolerance is much higher than you ever thought possible.  So much that I remember a couple years ago I had pain in my stomach that wouldn’t go away but I told myself I would just sleep it off and see if it goes away on its own. The next day the pain got to the point that when I stood up, my body said, NOPE, and I went straight back down. It was only at that level of pain that I called my Mom to come pick me up and take me to the hospital. Turned out to be appendicitis. In my head I didn’t think the pain was all that bad. I’ve experienced worse. It was my body that said NOPE.  This is obviously extreme but my point is that pain is also a perception. There is the extreme warning pain like appendicitis that will tell you need to go to the hospital. But the extra rep or two on a leg press machine isn’t the kind of pain that is going to take you to the hospital and require surgery. There was a recent post by Arnold where someone had asked him to take a look at his form on a bench press.  This person stopped at 10 reps. Arnold told this person that he couldn’t tell him about this form because he wasn’t done with the set. Arnold said he had at least 5 more reps in him.

The more you train, the more you work on stage presence and performing, the more you challenge yourself and put yourself out there, the more you learn about yourself and will become proud of. The first place trophy is awesome, not gonna lie, but the transformation that you will experience is far more valuable.  The trophy will sit on a shelf somewhere and collect dust. your friends and family will be excited for you but over time your show last year is not going to be the conversations you have with them.  You are going to carry YOU around you all day.  The confidence you exude, the motivational attitude you project, these are things you will carry with you every day if you allow yourself to focus on them and they will likely inspire others to want to do better for themselves.

 

A recent men’s physique student of mine came to one of my official OCB virtual posing clinics I hold for the OCB every month. By the way I teach the posing and stage performances for over 10 federations full time every day so it’s an honor to be recognized by a federation for my capabilities, and given the opportunity and the trust to serve their athletes in a very unique way. So this men’s physique competitor comes to my clinic wearing a long shirt and a baseball cap. He is planning to do a show in 8 weeks. He has never posed before and keeps his shirt on the whole time. After the clinic he signs up for it weekly virtual posing classes and some virtual 1 on 1s. 8 weeks later you guys would not recognize him. The confidence, the smile, he is beaming with enthusiasm and pride. After the show for an entire week he was telling me he was still feeling the high and excitement from the entire experience and couldn’t wait to do it again.

This is exactly what I mean about attaching to the transformation not the trophy.

Another example. 50+ women’s bikini competitor. Says she wants to do one show after thinking about it for 20 years. Is naturally very shy when you meet her. In fact when she first started my virtual posing classes she was stiff, her facial expressions told a story of someone thinking way too much and just going through the motions. Two months later after my signature methods of pulling the super star out of you, she walks on stage for her individual routine and you can hear the audience cheering loudly and in the video you can see the judges nudging each other and clapping for her. She said she was doing one show but is now focusing on doing another in the spring. You guys, THIS is the stuff you should be focusing on.

Competing is your chance to be star for the day!

To learn things about yourself you never knew possible. To challenge yourself and have a lot of fun in the process. Your vibe attracts your tribe. You can align with people who are alll about the trophy and pro card, there are plenty of those people all over social media. You can focus on and do things that might not be in your long term best interest for the superficial acceptance of winning. Or you can focus on bringing out the uniqueness in you, the transformation within, and FEELING like a champion both on and off the stage whether you win first place or not.

The transformation is your greater trophy. Being proud of yourself and motivated by yourself is a far better higher vibrational existence than beating yourself up every day over 5 people’s opinions.

Ok guys, thanks for listening!  I appreciate all of you who reach out and tell me you are listening to the show. It’s really great to know! If you are preparing for a show, no matter if you are brand new or a seasoned veteran you should join my weekly virtual posing practice classes so you are fully prepared for show day. I have 5 of them now.  2 Wednesday nights for all federations broken up by category. I have 2 for the OCB on Sundays by invite only to those who attend one of my official monthly virtual posing clinics for the OCB. And the 5th class is brand new. I just launched it on Sundays at 10:30am EST and called Posing Mechanics for all men and women divisors. All federations too. In the Posing Mechanics class I go micro into the proper execution of all the poses. You will also get a great practice session. Surround yourself in the excitement of competing and let me help you with a transformation you will be proud of. Check out my classes at weeklyposing.com Till next time!